The Jedi Path Guide for Force Apprentices

Children under the age of 14 are advised against reading The Jedi Path unless they are skilled in using sword-like objects and understand not to put foreign items in their mouths. The additional items that come with the Jedi manual include a letter detailing its history, a Padawan braid, a Jedi Credit medallion, a Jedi starfighter patch, a burnt poster of the Jedi Code, a map of the Jedi Temple, a lightsaber diagram drawn on a napkin from Dex's Diner, and a note about missing pages torn out by a Sith. The Ancient Masters who contributed to The Jedi Path...

The Jedi Path is not recommended for chilluns under the age of 14, unless they are particularly adept at wielding sword-like implements and know better than to put foreign objects in their mouths. In addition to its formidable vault, the Jedi manual's removable additions encompass: A letter tracing the book's history a severed Padawan braid A metal Jedi Credit medallion A Jedi starfighter patch A burned poster of the Jedi Code A map of the Jedi Temple A lightsaber diagram sketched on the back of a napkin from Dex�s Diner A note on the missing pages torn from the book by a Sith. Ancient Masters who authored The Jedi Path include: Fae Coven, Grand Master and head of the Jedi Council; Crix Sunburris, Jedi Ace starfighter pilot; Restelly Quist, Jedi Chief Librarian; Skarch Vaunk, Jedi Battlemaster and lightsaber expert; Bowspritz, Jedi Biologist and expert on the Living Force; Sabla-Mandibu, Jedi Seer and Holocron expert; Morrit Ch�gally, Jedi Recruiter; and Gal-Stod Slagistrough, Jedi leader of the Agricultural Corps. Personal commentary has been added by: Yoda; Thame Cerulian; Count Dooku; Qui-Gon Jinn; Obi-Wan Kenobi; Anakin Skywalker; Ahsoka Tano; Darth Sidious; and Luke Skywalker. Press a button and the doors draw apart. The motion unleashes a symphony of Jedi sound effects through surging blue LED backlighting. Then, slowly, an inner platform rises to reveal - booyakasha! - an exclusive, faux-leather-bound edition of The Jedi Path. That sweet vaulted exterior you see? It opens mechanically, and to much Star Wars fanfare. No, not seriously. In fact, I think the "single surviving copy" of this manual can actually be had by anyone with cash money or a major credit card. You, me, my brother Darryl, my other brother Darryl.... As this chick at the gym I have a massive crush on until she starts talking would say: O...M...G.! Holy truffled Millennium Falcon , me? According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you."

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