The Jedi Path Guide for Force Apprentices

Children under the age of 14 are advised against reading The Jedi Path unless they are skilled in using sword-like objects and understand not to put foreign items in their mouths. The additional items that come with the Jedi manual include a letter detailing its history, a Padawan braid, a Jedi Credit medallion, a Jedi starfighter patch, a burnt poster of the Jedi Code, a map of the Jedi Temple, a lightsaber diagram drawn on a napkin from Dex's Diner, and a note about missing pages torn out by a Sith. The Ancient Masters who contributed to The Jedi Path...

The Jedi Path is not recommended for chilluns under the age of 14, unless they are particularly adept at wielding sword-like implements and know better than to put foreign objects in their mouths. In addition to its formidable vault, the Jedi manual's removable additions encompass: A letter tracing the book's history a severed Padawan braid A metal Jedi Credit medallion A Jedi starfighter patch A burned poster of the Jedi Code A map of the Jedi Temple A lightsaber diagram sketched on the back of a napkin from Dex�s Diner A note on the missing pages torn from the book by a Sith. Ancient Masters who authored The Jedi Path include: Fae Coven, Grand Master and head of the Jedi Council; Crix Sunburris, Jedi Ace starfighter pilot; Restelly Quist, Jedi Chief Librarian; Skarch Vaunk, Jedi Battlemaster and lightsaber expert; Bowspritz, Jedi Biologist and expert on the Living Force; Sabla-Mandibu, Jedi Seer and Holocron expert; Morrit Ch�gally, Jedi Recruiter; and Gal-Stod Slagistrough, Jedi leader of the Agricultural Corps. Personal commentary has been added by: Yoda; Thame Cerulian; Count Dooku; Qui-Gon Jinn; Obi-Wan Kenobi; Anakin Skywalker; Ahsoka Tano; Darth Sidious; and Luke Skywalker. Press a button and the doors draw apart. The motion unleashes a symphony of Jedi sound effects through surging blue LED backlighting. Then, slowly, an inner platform rises to reveal - booyakasha! - an exclusive, faux-leather-bound edition of The Jedi Path. That sweet vaulted exterior you see? It opens mechanically, and to much Star Wars fanfare. No, not seriously. In fact, I think the "single surviving copy" of this manual can actually be had by anyone with cash money or a major credit card. You, me, my brother Darryl, my other brother Darryl.... As this chick at the gym I have a massive crush on until she starts talking would say: O...M...G.! Holy truffled Millennium Falcon , me? According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you."

Some more items you'd probably like to throw your cash on...

The Seventy2 Survival Pack

Make sure to grab a survival pack like the Seventy2 Survival System from Uncharted Supply Co., which packs 35 essential tools into a compact daypack that can also double as a flotation device, snowshoes, and sling. Be prepared for disasters...

$259.00

 0    74

Mud Scrubber Rubber Debris Remover

The Mud Scrubber Rubber Brush Mat is a durable and highly effective mat for welcoming guests. Constructed with heavy-duty rubber that can withstand extreme conditions, including heat, cold, rain, and snow, this mat has 3 raised strips of co...

$22.99

 0    72

Biometric Vault Fingerprint Recogniti...

This biometric safe operates with 4 AA batteries and has dimensions of 16-1/2" x 7-3/4" x 14-1/2" on the outside and slightly smaller on the inside. It provides keyless entry to your belongings through fingerprint recognition technology. Th...

$199.99

 0    78

Logitech Touchpad Wireless Windows Re...

- Utilize the potential of your Windows 8 computer with the Logitech rechargeable touchpad, offering a spacious 5.9" x 5" surface. - Access the full capabilities of your Windows 8 PC by using the Logitech rechargeable touchpad, which includ...

$399.93

 0    66

Kinkajou DIY Bottle Cutting Candle Kit

The Kinkajou includes all necessary components and instructions for cutting and finishing bottles with diameters ranging from 43 to 102 mm. In addition to the bottle cutter set, you will also receive a pound of soy wax balls, 5 wooden wicks...

$19.99

 0    71

NukAlert Radiation Detector Keychain

The NukAlert Keychain is capable of detecting radiation levels ranging from 100 mR/hr to 5,000 R/hr. Level 10 corresponds to 2+ MeV. When radiation levels reach 20 keV or higher, one of the 10 "chirping" alarms will sound, with the rate of ...

$169.99

 0    69

Zipstrip Herb Stripping Wizard

The Zipstrip is a handy kitchen gadget designed to make preparing herbs quicker and easier. Just place the herbs root-side down into one of the four different-sized holes, pull gently, and see the leaves come off and drop into the measuring...

$7.50

 0    68

Pyro Cage Incinerator Smart Ash Conta...

The Pyro Cage includes a lid for keeping embers and ash contained while burning. After the flames die down and the steel cools, you can easily dismantle the cage and store it flat. Each panel weighs approximately 20 pounds, and the setup fe...

$309.00

 0    68

Frozen Beer Head Maker Home Edition

Kirin first introduced their slushie-topped beers in Tokyo beer gardens in 2012 as a product intended for commercial use. The Frozen Beer Slushie Maker transforms beer into a frozen, soft-serve consistency head that helps keep the liquid br...

$77.00

 0    75

The Nightmare Before Christmas Operat...

Are you searching for the ideal present for your child this year? Why not think about The Nightmare Before Christmas Operation game? It offers a fun opportunity for kids to enhance their skills in a medical emergency scenario. And if Hallow...

$38.66

 0    73

Miracle Melting Witch Wicked Transfor...

The Miracle Melting Witch, a creation of Two's Company, is one of many slime-putty products in a collection that includes different characters and accessories for shaping and assembling. This specific Miracle Melter is based on the Wicked W...

$14.99

 0    74

Discraft Pizza Frisbee Ultimate Veget...

The pizza frisbee may look funny, but it's no laughing matter. Vegetarian frisbee enthusiasts should pay attention: this disc could give them an edge in the game by distracting and outmaneuvering their opponents. Discraft has gone above and...

$19.89

 0    74

Wilde Protein Chicken Crisps

- Wilde Chicken Protein Chips offer a grain- and gluten-free option to traditional potato chips. They are suitable for those following paleo and keto diets and contain 14 grams of protein per 2.25-ounce bag, which is listed as 2 servings wi...

$14.99

 0    77

Sleek Socket Concealers Versatile Out...

Sleek Socket provides a range of outlet concealers designed for various needs, including models with features for child and pet safety. The concealers are available in different styles, such as 8' cords, dual 3-outlet power strips, surge pr...

$23.95

 0    72

The Frog Log Animal Rescue Platform

The Frog Log is designed to help small animals only, so make sure you have the skimmer ready for the neighbor's cats and the gators. Setting up the Frog Log is simple - just place the platform in the water and use the weighted sandbag on th...

$15.99

 0    71