MasturbationRelated Ailments Symptoms and Solutions

If you are experiencing weakness, convulsions, aches, or vision problems, Diseases Caused by Masturbation is essential reading. It is likely that you will discover that abstaining from masturbation can alleviate these symptoms. It is unclear whether Diseases offers a solution for resulting blue balls.

Diseases Caused by Masturbation is a must-read for anyone who feels weak, convulsive, achy, or like they're going blind. Likely you'll learn you can cure these symptoms with masturb-abstinance. No word on whether or not Diseases provides a cure for the ensuing blue balls as well. On the one hand, it includes tales of the horrors some of Tissot's patients suffered following playtime with the one-eyed snake. For example, a young man, not sixteen years old, became addicted to masturbation to so great a degree, that finally, instead of semen there was an emission of blood, which was followed by excessive pain and inflammation of all the genital organs. Sounds rough. But it's like the first time you get wasted (likely around the same age): you go too hard and too fast on a body that's not ready for it; you suffer the consequences; and then you learn to moderate. Or build up a tolerance so that by the time you're my age you can fight the purple helmet warrior for 5, 6 hours at a time with no bleeding or inflammation, and a pain that can be described best by John Cougar Mellencamp. Diseases Caused by Masturbation is a translation of Dr. Samuel-Auguste Tissot's book originally written in French. So maybe the translator messed up and it's really called Diseases Caused by Exposure to Nuclear Waste. But on the other hand, physician and former Vatican medical advisor Tissot penned the medical dissertation in 1760, back when people thought masturbation really was the root of maladies crushing both body and mind, so probably the title is legit, and the book's contents really do outline all the ways in which buffing the banana is going to F you up.

Some more items you'd probably like to throw your cash on...

Grotesque Art Design Eerie Compilation

Dark Inspiration: Grotesque Illustrations, Art & Design is a chilling coffee table book that is guaranteed to spook both unwanted guests and family members. Originally published as two separate volumes by design book publisher Victionary, t...

$22.33

 0    86

How to Poop on a Date Lovebirds Toile...

How to Poo on a Date: The Lovers' Guide to Toilet Etiquette offers advice on handling various scenarios with discretion and class. Before summarizing the book, I want to address a critique from an Amazon reviewer who believes the title is m...

$6.20

 0    94

Joking Hazard Create Outrageous Comics

Joking Hazard is a party game that is definitely not suitable for children, where players can mix and match inappropriate ideas to create funny and vulgar comic strips featuring Blue Shirt and Green Shirt from Cyanide & Happiness. Developed...

$24.98

 0    94

Indo Trick Freestyle Scooter Board

The Indo Trick Trampoline Scooter is a board-and-bar design without wheels, ideal for scoot enthusiasts looking to perfect freestyle tricks and create new ones. Please note that the trampoline is not included.

$49.95

 0    91

National Geographic Rocket Launcher 2...

The National Geographic 200-Foot Rocket Launcher comes with a rechargeable electric motor that enables up to 20 launches per charge. It includes 3 height settings and is activated for liftoff by pressing a button. The rocket can soar to hei...

$25.05

 0    92

Devotionals for Practicing Awesomeness

Lorraine Peterson's devotional journey, Anybody Can Be Cool But Awesome Takes Practice, guides teens in uncovering the truth about themselves through biblical teachings. Throughout 13 weeks, readers are empowered to combat Satan's deception...

$1.31

 0    92

Watermelon Ball Aquatic Rugby Game

The Watermelon Ball needs to be filled with a combination of water and air in order to work correctly, and includes needles for this purpose. It can double as an exercise ball for swimming pool workouts, ideal for aquatic games resembling u...

$30.99

 0    87

Balloon Blast Roulette Adventure Game

Watch the video to see how the Brits are filling balloons with air and shooting them at ears. This unique water balloon game, inspired by Russian Roulette, is sure to liven up your next party with more participation and excitement than the ...

$5.99

 0    84

The GrownUps Artful Secrets

Bridget Watson Payne's book, The Secret Art of Being a Grown-Up, provides practical guidance using cartoons and a conversational tone. Covering topics like kitchen tools and proper restroom etiquette in upscale hotels, this book offers advi...

$14.38

 0    90

Atlas of Prejudice Comprehensive Ster...

According to Atlas of Prejudice: Mapping Stereotypes, the world's animal domestication efforts did not begin with the dog but with the scapegoat. The essays in this collection provide a more in-depth yet equally amusing look at our natural ...

$17.99

 0    90

Air Hogs Millennium Falcon Drone

The Millennium Falcon Quad by Air Hogs comes with LED lights and genuine Star Wars ship sounds. With a 2.4Ghz communication system, you can fly the quad up to 200 feet from the controller.

$129.00

 0    101

Understand Rap Decoding Hip Hop Language

Rap is captivating, enlightening, and constantly evolving. The reader-driven website for Understand Rap regularly updates with new lyrics and explanations, providing a valuable tool for decoding the intricate world of hip hop. The paperback...

$9.99

 0    87

The Worlds Most Challenging Literary ...

In 1934, Edward Powys Mathers, also known as Torquemada, wrote Cain's Jawbone, a literary puzzle that has only been solved by 3 people who successfully unraveled the 6 hidden murder mysteries within its 100 pages. Known as The World's Most ...

$8.25

 0    92

Ive Venn Thinking Party Game

I've Venn Thinking is a party game that puts a new spin on the traditional fill-in-the-blank format by using Venn diagrams. Players can create imaginative connections between unexpected pairs, like Tom Cruise and the month of February, or K...

$23.39

 0    101

Goblies Dissolvable Paintball Pack

Goblies Throwable Paintballs come in packs of 40 with 6 color options. They are meant to dissolve on the ground, removing the need for cleaning up. Crafted from a bio-based material, the soft and flexible outer membrane ensures they are saf...

$9.40

 0    92