Hefty Pumpkin Spice Scented Trash Bags

Hefty's Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice Trash Bags are an inappropriate twist on traditional garbage bags. They should not be used for disposing of empty wrappers, soiled saran wrap, used coffee grounds, gnawed-clean chicken wing bones, or moldy leftovers. Avoid purchasing these offensive alternatives to regular trash bags, as they do not represent the true scent of Fall.

Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice Trash Bags by Hefty are a gross perversion of the spirit of trash bags. They have no business anywhere near your empty wrappers, soiled saran wrap, used coffee grounds, gnawed-clean chicken wing bones, or moldy leftovers. Please don't buy these vile takes on waste containment, these abominations of the official scent of Fall. I'm afraid I can't even stay neutral in discussing them here, as I hate all scent-infused trash bags. They will never mask the smells of smelly trash, but they will definitely co-mingle with them, creating a new, superiorly awful smell somewhere between a freshly bathed dog who just rolled in shit and an old lady doused in lotion and perfume who died in her house 3 days ago. So there's no way I would give Hefty Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice Trash Bags a fair shot in my kitchen. The box of trash bags is described as "Ultra Strong Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice," which I assume refers to the tensile strength of the 13-gallon tall kitchen can inserts.

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