Slugger Unbreakable Rain Umbrella

Unbreakable Umbrellas have the appearance and functionality of regular rain umbrellas. The machine-made Standard models are constructed with fiberglass and polyamide, while the handmade Premium umbrellas are made with steel and high-strength aluminum (with a distinction in warranty periods). Both versions have been tested in the field by the Penguin and are ensured to withstand normal use without breaking.

Unbreakable Umbrellas look and function like normal rain reflectors. Standard models are machine-made with fiberglass and polyamide, while Premium umbrellas are handmade out of steel and high-strength aluminum (the difference being in warranty periods of 2 years and lifetime). Both versions have been field-tested by the Penguin and are guaranteed not to break under normal use. According to the manufacturer, "Anyone who can use a stick for defense can use this umbrella." Weighing less than 2 pounds, Unbreakable Umbrellas are inconspicuous and legal to carry anywhere, but pack a punch as strong as a steel pipe. They stave off the rain, hold resilient in high winds, and serve as canes or walking sticks with equal finesse. An umbrella with gusto. Now there's something I never knew I always wanted. That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable Umbrella holds true to its name. And that it can also double as a mother truckin' Louisville slugger to aid in self-defense. Can you imagine whacking someone in the face with one of those things, and then strolling out into the dark and stormy night with nary a drop of water permeating your $1,200 suit? Bond would have nothing on that shit. Look at that dude standing on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon.

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