World Champion Phallus Prize

- When you make a purchase through links on our site, DudeIWantThat.com may earn an affiliate commission as we are reader-supported.

DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more. And for everyone else, here's your next white elephant gift, or perhaps a nice, anonymous way to seek revenge on a frenemy. You know, I heard Disney is remaking Home Alone. You guys need an updated "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!" catchphrase? At least at printing, the title of the World Champion Dick Trophy listing began with these words: "Happy New Year & Christmas Decorations." The level of detail is one of the things I really like about this trophy. Check out the photo gallery, and you'll see the seller is very proud of the effort they've taken to replicate with precision a penis' trademark contours and wrinkles, which are highlighted further by the dick's gold-dipped sheen. The trophy simply reads "World Champion" across the engraved plate on the front, and apparently comes with a patriotic ribbon tied around it. If you've already awarded someone the Golden Douchebag Trophy, here's a World Champion Dick Trophy to hand out to the second (or newest) biggest jerk you know.

Some more items you'd probably like to throw your cash on...

WD40 Lubrication Pen for Portable Pre...

Make sure to have a WD-40 Precision Pen in your toolbox for all of your lubrication needs. This pen is ideal for oiling a bike chain, silencing a squeaky door hinge, or loosening rusty parts on the go. It's a versatile tool that will be use...

$12.99

 0    31

Alpicool C15 Compact Cooling Companion

The Alpicool portable refrigerator / freezer shown in the picture is the 16-quart C15 model, measuring 22.4" x 12".

$179.00

 0    37

Kung Fu Twin Strike Whips

The Kung Fu Double Whips are 33" long each, with a striking area of 25". Everyone was engaging in fast and powerful Kung Fu moves, resulting in bruises and soreness. How about we incorporate some Kung Fu Double Whipping into our next song? ...

$168.88

 0    28

BenShot Bullet Shot Glass Custom 9mm ...

- BenShot shapes and fits real 9mm bullets into each 1.75-ounce shot glass, which is made to order and suitable for drinking, when the glass reaches temperatures exceeding 1,000 degrees F.

$14.99

 0    29

BoozeBrella Covert Umbrella Concealment

The BoozeBrella, created by Smuggle Mug, is a discreet umbrella flask offered in more than twelve colors. It is designed to resemble a genuine umbrella, complete with a nylon cover and braided carrying strap. It is recommended to bring a ba...

$13.99

 0    31

Hexnub Illuminated Cooler Box Attachment

Say farewell to struggling in the dark and welcome easy access to illuminated refreshment! Whether you're on a camping trip, hosting a backyard BBQ, or enjoying a beach bonfire, the HEXNUB Cooler Box Light brings a cool and convenient touch...

$24.99

 0    35

BevPod Portable Beverage Carrier

The BevPod cooler is currently seeking funding on Kickstarter until May 28, 2015. For those looking to embrace a trendy hipster lifestyle, you can attach your BevPod to your GolfBoard. It allows you to conveniently carry ten cans of Coors L...

$36.99

 0    30

EcoQubeC Oasis Aquarium Kit

- The EcoQubeC Aquarium is constructed from flame-polished acrylic and comes with a filter and remote-controlled 6mm LED lighting. An upgraded kit is available for purchase, which includes a UV sterilizer, basil seeds, and decorative tank a...

$119.99

 0    33

The Wand Wine Hangover Shield

The Wand is designed to reduce wine headaches, congestion, facial flushing, and the general hangover symptoms the next day. It is said to leave no residue in the wine and enhance its natural taste and health benefits. Perhaps the true magic...

$24.99

 0    35

Destruct MilitaryGrade Data Eraser

The Destruct hard drive data eraser is compatible with all Windows operating systems. Lovell claims that activating the Destruct is easy, but it is slightly more complex than a plug-and-play device. The Destruct is marketed as a military-gr...

$31.99

 0    36

OrCam MyEye 2 Vision Aid Device

The OrCam MyEye 2 is a device designed to help individuals with macular degeneration, glaucoma, reading fatigue, dyslexia, and other similar learning disabilities. It has the ability to read text from various sources, recognize faces, ident...

$4.25

 0    32

Seagate FireCuda SSD Lightsaber Galaxy

Seagate's FireCuda SSD Lightsaber Collection is a limited edition officially licensed Star Wars merchandise that offers speeds of up to 7300MB/s and features designs inspired by Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi. This PCIe Gen...

$239.99

 0    29

Exotic Predator Carnivore Jerky Trio

The Newport Jerky Company provides a range of unique jerky choices not typically found in regular convenience stores. With options like python and kangaroo, they offer more than a dozen different animal varieties. Their Exotic Predator Jerk...

$39.99

 0    27

Creative Spark Innovation Catalyst Deck

Creative Block is a unique tool designed to ignite inspiration for creative professionals. It consists of over 100 cards filled with problem-solving tips and brainstorming ideas to help reignite your creativity in a fun and engaging manner....

$34.99

 0    33

Cereal Killer Bowl Artisan Crafted Ea...

These Ceramic Cereal Killer Bowls, made by artist Lenny Mud in a New Jersey studio, are a great addition to your breakfast table. Each bowl is crafted from earthenware and fired twice in a clay kiln, featuring a glossy white glaze with indi...

$30.00

 0    36